Tuesday, June 29, 2010

no effing sunshine.

Thats just great!

So i gave my parents $700 to go towards my flight to Australia! And now there is $200missing and my parents are blaming me telling me that i took it! Why the HELL would i take $200 from my flight money to Australia? so that i can go to a movie? SERIOUSLY?! I am SO EFFING MAD right now! So now, I owe them $800 instead of $600... kind of substantially different. I have never even SEEN THAT MONEY BEFORE...except for when i gave it to them. WTF?! WHERE DID IT GO?????

Friday, June 25, 2010

the sun is hiding somewhere.

Goodmorning Blog!

Well, I feel pretty good today. Sort of. I dont feel so gross today. Yesterday i just felt so bloated it was definitely one of my fat days. I went for a long ass run after work though so i feel much better. My inner mia came out even though im trying really hard not to. Today is a new day.

Last night, i really wanted to roll again. I know that i swore i would never do it again: but yeah. So me being brilliant i texted my friend and asked her if she wanted to do it tonight. AND shes in. Of course. I hate to admit it im actually excited. Anyways...

I'm stuck at home tonight anyways babysetting the dog. Mom and Dad want to go see a movie and since the puppy can't be left alone for more than 2 hours at a time its my turn. Actually i told them id watch her. i feel bad they never do anything because they need to be home for her. plus with them out of the house it give me some alone time.

Tonight is my friends birthday and i said i would go and i want to!! he's spinning tonight and the first 100 people get his new cd! bah... but do you think mom and dad would let me out of the house long enough to do it? hells no!it sucks that he lives so effing far away though. i miss having a car and having the freedom to just go wherever i want to. being at the mercy of getting rides from them or the bus. The bus system here sucks too so thats not good. Oh well, at least im not here for very much longer. Its only like 6 weeks until i leave for Australia.

That is a crazy thought. after 6 weeks im going to be gone for 2 years!! and maybe never come back. Its been hitting me lately the whole saying goodbye to home. As much as i hate it here sometimes, its still been my home for the past oh 12 years. I know when i come home everything is going to be different. like people move on and get married and have babies in that amount of time! thats what happens in your 20's. Well thats what happens to all young christian couples anyways. They all get married right out of high school because they cant wait to have sex! enough of that!

i talked to lets just say R last night. The boy i thought i wanted to be with but realized i so dont want to be. Long distance doesnt work especially when its like across the world. I dont him yesterday i didnt want to talk to him agian, until we got to auz. (cus he's moving there too)... then he was like no we need to let our emotions cool and then talk. please like i need to talk about it again? i have nothing left to say except for the same thing i've been saying for the past few weeks...NO! why do i let this go on?

anyways enough of my rant. time for meetings at work than the weekend. we'll see how it goes...


Thursday, June 24, 2010

clearing in the clouds...

So I guess I just needed a place to write down everything. The madness that goes on inside when you are forced to live a double life. Don't get me wrong. This isn't exactly how I want to live my life. I guess there are just certian expectations on how I should live my life that I am having a hard time coming to terms with. I dont know why?


This summer definitely started in April for me... Its amazing how one shot of tequila can change the course of your life so dramatically. Ok well maybe not that dramatically but it did change alot. The past few months I have been a flaily rainbow fairy princess. =) I love our flaily saturdays ps. so much fun. We have sometime off coming up I want to visit with you again. I miss my best friend. Its only been like 2 weeks, so I know I sound lame, but I feel like since the park flail she's distanced herself from me... or maybe its that boy? Anyways we will see how it goes.

Today is slow at work, but I like those days. And I love my job so were all good. I kind of feel like I have no one to hang out with these days. Maybe thats just because its been a long week and I have spend most of it at home. This weekend I get to see a friend from auz. OMG i am SO EXCITED!! I effing love that girl!

...I should get back to work.