i'd speak this color to stand still

Its offically time to start maintaining. I didn't weigh myself yet but i dont have to. Today, i put on some jeans that normally are either snug or just fit perfectly: and they hardly stay up around my waist. I feel like weight loss for me is like: i work hard on getting it off for a long time, and nothing seems to change... then suddenly i wake up one morning and hello hip bones, ribs and collar bones. Suddenly i can't push my thighs together when im standing, and hardly when I am sitting. I am happy, but at the same time im scared. When my mom sees me, shes going to freak out. I find that i don't want anyone hugging me, because im afraid they will feel my ribs and comment on how skinny i am again. Isnt that twisted up? Its like this is what i want but its a bitter sweet feeling. All i know is i cant lose any more. I haven't worked out in a few days. I feel my energy levels going down with the weight i have lost. So its time to up the intake so i can excercise and feel good about both.



I would put photos up, but i cant find my camera:S its annoying.

I am not really hungry but im forcing myself to eat anyways. I am eating a cup of brocolli with hummus, and a HUGE cup of steeped tea for Breakfast. Snack 4 graham crackers (120 cal) Lunch im having a salad with heaps of veggies. I brought some sugar free jello for a snack:) delishh. I didnt add it up either. today i dont care. As long as its veggies, its not a big deal. Tonight is chicken and veggies so it will be good.

In other things, I thought i had plans for this weekend but now things have changed. I was going to go to the capital X (the fair) with Jade, but she sprained her foot and she cant really get around. I really wanted to go to the y (afterhours club) too afterwards. Its the only time i will have a chance to go out anywhere before i leave in 2 weeks. But i feel bad if i ditch Jade because she's injured. Blaah... this kind of sucks. I probably sounds horrible too for wanting to go out instead of stay in with her. I will most likely end up staying in:its just what i feel like doing verus what i need to do.

I feel like this post is boring and i have nothing really to say. Maybe later on ill have more exciting news.

19 Followers WOW!! almost in the 20's! I cant even believe it! Thank you so much girls, i know i say it all the time but it means so much that you read and comment:) your the best<3

***Oh, and i had a couple people ask me what I am doing in Auz so i thought i would repsond via. blogging it:) I am going to work for a Christian Organization called "Youth With A Mission" (YWAM). My job will be to staff schools for young adults to attend, to be trained to go out into short term missions. 3 months of lectures/training in the community, and 3 months outreach in another country. I did my school in the Gold Coast, and my outreach in Indonesia last year. I am really looking forward to being challanged in my leadership skills and developing new relationships with people from all over the world. PLUS i am in love with Australia so its a bonus living there too!!***