Monday, July 19, 2010

Trance is my new Baseline

Monday Morning!

First of all: Weigh in this morning didn't go as well as I had hoped. Not that the number was BAD but because i couldn't get a proper look because i was rushed. From what i could see i was between 125-123. WHICH im hoping it was the lower end of things, but at least i didn't gain so im not worried.

I went and saw Inception yesterday and OMGOODNESS it is one of the BEST movies i have EVER seen in my life! Im still fully blown away by it!! I dreamt about it last night and it messed me up so much, that i couldnt wake up because i thought i was awake already but i was really dreaming...SO WEIRD!

This weekend was all over the place, but sitting here thinking back on it, it was just a weekend. Ice cream party: haha i sometimes have just have to laugh at my lack of self control to stop myself from crying. I not only ate more than my 10x my weight in calories in icecream, I had a nonstop supply of chips going into my mouth. I tried to purge, but it didnt really work out. So that was that. The night itself was really fun visiting with friends: we had some really awesome conversations!!

Saturday I slept in!! i NEVER sleep in it was awesome!!
Now at Fatburger: I already planned in my mind was going to be a Binge/Purge. Fries, Huge Turkey Burger and Strawberry Milkshake: 1750 cals.(not including the heaps of mayo and ketchup on the side) IN ONE FREAKING SITTING. There my friend is happily eating his meal skinny as ever without worry. The rest of the day, i had a frozen yogurt with my sister, and movie popcorn. Not so great but whatever.

My sister totally ignored me the whole time we hung out. Busy on her phone. Seems to be the theme of my hang outs with people lately. Too distracted with their cell phones to actually engage me. Oh well.

I went to see Despicable me with my Mom. not that great. Went home and had a campfire with my parents. I called everyone i knew and NO ONE picked up! So it was me and my parents. I made them smores and I had 2. I don't even care about the calories in them they were delicious. I don't mind spending time with my parents. in 3 weeks ill be gone to Australia for 2 years so i might as well hang while i can. I couldn't fricking sleep though Saturday night. My mind would NOT shut off: (that's what i get for drinking caffeine and eating sugar before bed) I was like in this self-loathing state of mind it was awful! i was just hating myself. BUT, did fall asleep thankfully.

Sunday, i went to church with my mom. We visited one we don't usually go to: it was interesting. He preached good the first half than the second half was like: what? Made for good discussion on the way home. Had tea for breakfast and Veggies with Codfish for lunch. had movie popcorn AGAIN (cant resist it no matter how hard i try...so just don't try anymore) THEN i went to my friends house where she was baking pies! BAH. Blueberry and Pecan Pie and of course i had to eat a piece of each. I purged a little bit of it but i didn't have the chance to properly.

Somehow after that weekend of shitty eating i managed to maintain maybe even lose. I find weekends, i just don't care about what the hell i put into my mouth or how many caloires, or if i work out or ANYTHING. i did work out yesterday, burned about 400 calories. Today i will work out for sure.

Intake today:

B: 1/2 cup cottage cheese 100 cal
1/4 cup berries 25-30 cal
Steeped Tea: 15 cal + Vitamins

L: Romaine Salad: 35 cal
1 slice low fat turkey: 20 cal

D: Whatever parents make: They usually make me veggies and a lean protein

GOAL THIS WEEK: BINGE FREE WEEK. Wish me luck ladies. I am going to need it!

Thank you to my new followers!(and my current followers) Its so exciting seeing there are people actually reading this!! you ladies are so amazing!! i am so thankful you take the time to comment and encourage me and give me advice! i <3 you girls and appreciate you so much!!! You inspire me and challenge me in so many ways. SERIOUSLY!!!

Cheers! Here's to a New week, New goals and NO BINGING!

6 comments:

  1. My beautiful Rachel, thank you so much for commenting, it's hard not to think about cutting, and although I know it sounds horrible... I enjoy it, it makes me feel real, but I need to find something else because it's a nasty habit.
    I will in time decrease the amount of cals, but I didn't want to start too low because then I turn into the binge-monster.
    Thank you so much, one minute at a time is exactly how I am going to take it.
    You know getting comments like yours motivates me more than you know.
    Thank you beautiful
    Cheers! Here's to a new week and NO BIINGING
    X

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  2. Sucks that you didn't get to have a proper weigh in, but it sounds like you're doing okay. Thanks for the comment on my last post. Much love. <3

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  3. it sounds like your doing wonderful! and you treated yourself a little and no weight gain!
    stay strong sweetie! i'd say try for a no purge/no binge week. they are both hard thing and both meaningful things to things going on in life. i really want to see you stop purging because it's just really not fun or good but i know just how HARD it is to stop. i do!!
    What if you didn't purge all weekend and you were at the same weight you are now/you lost the weight like you did this weekend??? :) something to think about
    xoxo

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  4. i'm soo happy for you, you got to treat yourself and you didn't even gain. haha, i'm jealous ^.^

    you were right and i was on vacation but now that i'm back i've got to get this eating habit under control.

    thanks for your love and support, stay beautiful as always,
    Elle

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  5. huggles is one of my faveorite words! i kind of love drivers ed but it can be really cheesy too (most of the vids we watch are like 40-50 years old, yuck)

    but it's alright as it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

    i absolutley have to work now b/c i have now neglected my work for 2-3 hours.
    TTYL
    Elle

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  6. don't worry lol this week is gonna be amazing :)

    P.S.: if you dont mind me asking ;) why are you going to Australia ? work ? school ?

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