One step, one beat, one more time

So, today is the day of my liquid fast. Got my Water, Tea, Coke Zero and Broth by my side. I have a lot of work to day today too, so it will distract me from the urge to give in to food. Today's intake

B: 1 cup of green tea and 2 large glasses of water

L: 2/3 Cup Chicken Broth (5 cal)
Coke Zero
Water!!!

D: More Water, More Tea
2/3 cup chicken broth (ONLY if needed)


I am so glad to do this because I am so bloated and feel so gross from dinner last night. I ordered ok: small salad, no dressing. But of course he wanted bruschetta to start and i ended up eating half of the loaf... and it was huge! I didnt purge: so I felt so gross the food was so heavy in me. I went home and went for a 30 min walk with my mom and 30 mins on the eliptical. I burned about 400 cal in total. I also did a whole bunch of abs. I would have gone longer but it was late and my mom told me to stop because people were going to bed. I ended up binging on a bowl of veggies, handfull of blueberries, strawberries and a plum. I know its really not bad but it felt bad because i was already full and i didnt need to feel any fuller. I look 2 laxitives last night which i NEVER. i wanna be careful with that shit, but yah. So today i dont even think i could eat my stomache is so messed up: gotta be close to a bathroom at all times. Its not so bad right now, but it comes and goes. Reminds me why i dont ever use those suckers.

Dinner last night was ok. He (being my ex that i would have married: had i not screwed it up by being so sick and twisted and intoxicated... its been 2 years now so we are good...we are just friends) was really distracted the whole time. Im not a fan of people always being on their cell phones, especially when you are out for dinner, or coffee or anything that requires one on one face to face action. I mean it was nice to see him but, he had to rush because he was going for drinks with someone else and yeah. Whatever, it gave me more time to work out a bit.

Im not looking forward to this weekend really. I have to go to an ice cream party (wtf WHO HAS an icecream party?) Where they are going to have all diff. flavours of icecream, toppings, the works. theres no way ill get away with eating nothing. Im still planning it out in my head. Ill just take a little bit and kind of stirr it around while everyone eats and let it melt. Then say im full and get rid of it. Saturday i have to go to Fatburger. JUST THE NAME of it says it all. FML. Im sorry i dont think i can eat there and NOT purge. But besides food, all my friends are pretty much not around. I hate it too, i leave in like 3 weeks and i have no one to hang out with...expect for my family. I LOVE my family dont get me wrong but weekends are when i like to get some space from them. I miss Jade. Eff. I miss having someone to do something with. Everyone is dating and off doing their own thing. Today, it feels like Australia couldnt come any sooner.

Thank you lovely ladies for commenting! I just love reading what you have to say! Your so amainzg thank you!!<3