Long stretches of sunshine

Happy 22 Birthday Rachel!

Honestly, i actually feel older today. I have never had that happen before. I have decided that 22 is like 19. That weird age in between being an offical adult and just an adult. Maybe I am just crazy? Haha its early.

To my new follwer- My Lovely Twin Rachel:)
Thank you so much for your comment it means so much! I just wanted to tell you that you never fail unless you give up completely. you can fall as many times as you want as long as you get back up and keep on going. I know you are seeing results so that must mean you are doing something right? You are stronger than you think! Thats why we are here too, to help you when you feel like giving up! I love how blogs bring people together like this its so cool! I am 22 today as you can see. xo.

Well, yesterday went pretty good foodwise...i drank lots of water and snacks on a few sticks of celery... then it was dinner.
The up side to dinner was that when i went to the resturant a whole bunch of my friends were waiting there to suprise me. They even had presents for me! No one buys me presents anymore, so that was super amazing...
The down side: they took me to a burger joint. I was going to order a salad but they all talked me into ordering a burger since "it was my birthday"... what does that suppossed to me? Anyways, i ended up eating every last bit of the chicken burger and french fries on the side. THEN to top it off the server brought a huge icecream sundae "on the house" while singing happy birthday. I let my friends eat it, of course they convinced me to at LEAST take a bite.
I would love to say that i let myself suffer with it and kept it down but i didnt. i purged. i felt too sick.

So far today, I've only had water, tea and half a teaspoon of flax, and loaded up on vitamins.

A bit of background:

I have had issues with eating going back 3 years or so now. I was pro ANA but the fact i used to love food so much got my parents on my case, so i was forced to turn to MIA to get rid of the fat on my body. I am 5'8 and in from August-December I went from 155 lbs (eww i know) to 115 lbs. By January I had reached 100 lbs. Of course i was forced into an ED clinic after some health problems. Ill admit i wasnt being too safe, i was really careless. I was really addicted to drugs back then, so i used it as a crutch to fill my stomach instead of food. it was easier. I have been through all those programs, and have returned to "health normal weight". I have learned alot about being healthy and i really dont want to be sick. I do however want to be thin and i want to do it better this time. Taking vitamines, eating (ABC one day but 2468 for now), exercising. I will admit, 100 lbs on my frame was a bit too skinny on me. I know that sounds crazy. I am still deciding my GW. Between 115-120. Those numbers might look HUGE to some of you, but any thinner and ill be thrown back in the clinic. WHICH i swear will NEVER happen again.

When i move to Australia, it will be easier to lose the weight and not have my parents hovering over me watching what i eat. That is one month away so for now I just have to be careful how much i lose around them. I know i know i am 22 and live at home. Its only because I am moving to Australia and they are letting me stay in their house rent-free so i can save more money. I really appriciate it too. I love my parents ps. they can be annoying as hell, but i know its because they love me.

I am currently stuck at a 130 plateau. I will admit i havent been working out as much, i get so lazy once i stop for even a day. The past week though i have been doing better and i feel much better. Today i feel thin. the nice thing about my body type is, it doesnt take long for my bones to stick out:) Hello ribs and hip bones<3

Ok. This is long so I will wrap it up for now. I am nervous for today, I am hanging out with my sister and she loves to make me eat. I am saving more calorie intake today for being with her. trust me i am going to need it. I am going to shoot for 700, man wish me luck im gonna need it!

***EDIT***
FML!! Birthday Celebration for Rachel at work = puff wheat squares + cheesebuns + loads of butter + fruit. Fruit, no so bad. Massive cheese buns, butter and squares...effing carbs. I couldn't NOT eat it: they all watched me get my food FIRST becuase "its my birthday." According to a lot of people, your bday is the day you should be eating as much shitty food as possilbe. Anyways, i tried purging but barely got any of it out. I feel so disgusting right now. So im sort of freaking out since i still have to go out for 2 more "bday dinners" today. I am going to try skip lunch at least by using the excuse that i already ate... cuz i DID!! Fricking enough calories for the next 5 days!! Im going to stick to salads, no dressing and only eat a couple bites. Hello cardio work-out tonight!