Hello Blog,
Today, is raining non-stop. One of those days where you want to curl up in a blanket and watch movies and drink tea and hide from the world. But, at least working = money. So im okay with that.
Last night, i have no idea how many calories i ate. About a cup of mixed veggies, 1/4 chicken breast, small salad with salsa and 1/2 tsp of coconut oil. I did pretty good... I had like a handfull of fuzzy peaches which wasnt so good but oh well. Didnt purge.
Today:
B: Small WW flax bagel : 170 cal
1/2 cup mix berries : 30 cals
Green Tea w/ stevia: 0 cal
S: Cinnamon Bun: ???cal (I lose: of course they put them RIGHT beside my desk fml.
I didn't purge)
Mini Coke Zero: 0 Cal
L: ... i dont know if i will eat my lunch im too full :S
Small Romaine Salad w/ tomoato, cucumber, red onion: 45 cal
1/2 teaspoon low fat dressing: 5 cal
D: 4 oz. chicken breast: 120 cal
1 cup steamed veggies: 35-40 cal
So it took me ALL of last night to clean my room. It hasn't been that messy in a VERY long time. It's hard though, because im in between packing for Australia, then packing up my room because my parents want to move in the next year: so all my stuff has to be in boxes or taken with me. Trying to keep it clean is just hopeless. BUT today, i am happy to say that vaccummed, dusted and tidy:) feels good not to trip over everything and know where all my stuff is. I found my glasses layered in my sheets in my bed. I figured i would find them once i cleaned my room.
So, i had a talk with my mom. And she's going to help me stop purging. Because honestly, i hate it, it just screws me up so much. Knowing that i can't purge derastically helps with my binge cravings, and actually helps me restrict a whole lot easier. My parents are all about me not bingeing, so they will be happy to see me eating "small" portions, and saying no to junk food. So it works out in the end, as long as i maintain my proper intake... and my workouts=)
I have been creating meal plans, so i can have a guide to go to. Otherwise i just don't care and don't know what to eat or how much then it just all falls apart. I dont know what im intake # will be yet but we will see.
My sunburn is still red as ever today, but not much pain. Hoping to work out today. I dont like going more than 2 days in a row without working out. If i dont today it will be 3. E is coming over tonight and she said she has something for me:) i cant wait i love presents!
At the moment: i really feel like bingeing...NO> i WILL NOT eat more than i need.
<3
Thank you for commenting beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to stay positive, I didn't get to 106Ibs, because I had a binge, I had a good day or two though and I'm down to 107.4, I purged last night as well, which probably had something to do with it.
I got some new books, so hopefully that will keep me occupied for a while, and cleaning my room (It's a never ending job, I swear I think pixies come and mess it up while I sleep)
Thank you, itr means so much to hear positive things about myself, even if I find them hard to believe they still mean a lot.
You are so wonderful with words, you always make me feel better, you are so very special to me Rach, hope you know that.
X
im so glad you didnt purge today and im so glad you had a talk with your mom hun! i hope everything works out!!
ReplyDeletethat WAS true for me but now i'll binge no matter what...even when i know i can't/won't purge. its bad and needs to change. its not good for my emotional health. :(
its hard. i think its good but its not.
and thanks for your oh soooo sweet words. it means A LOT to me. i really needed to hear that it's not you being a failure its your plan that failed because i have a REALLYYY hard time separating the two so thank you for helping me do that and think about it
ur awesomeeeeee <3