Shooting Star*

17 Followers!! What?! Thank you SO MUCH ladies, for following and reading and commenting!! Its so wonderful to have your support, and thoughts and inspiration here. It is so nice to feel like you are understood by someone! Even if its on a blogger, at least we have it! you ladies are truely amazing, and i SO grateful for each and every one of you. You are all so special to me, and i love reading your blogs as well! You should know that=)

I don't even know where to start with this weekend: WELL we, will start with my weigh in this morning... DRUMROLL Please... 121 lbs!! I am only 3 lbs away from my goal weight!! How did that even happen? It feels like i was just having the 130 plateau, then the 125 pleateau... now its the last stretch. I am happy though with my weight, and how its going. Like i said before, i do not wish to be any thinner than 118. Im already thinking if i end up around 120 here, I will be happy. I still have muscles, and stuff: not completely fragile. But i don't really want to be either. i want energy to do the things i love to do: like dance. And i can only do that if i have some meat on me:) minimal of course:) I just need to maintain: and not lose anymore once im at my GW 5.

My party Friday night was so much fun. I ate so much sugar i felt hung over the next day. It was worth it though. All the shitty food i ate. It was my party anyways. My friends bought me a star!! A real star in the sky! For anyone who knows me: knows i LOVE stars! ALWAYS have. I have them tattooed on my back and i draw a star beside my left eye every day. i just love them. They symbolized hope for me: and i have them on my back on purpose :That i choose to carry hope with my in every circumstance, where ever i go. I have to name it still: i have NO idea. What would you name a star if you had to name it? its so tough!

Saturday: Intake wise was pretty good. I ate a cupcake :S not so awesome, but i was walking around ALL day so i know for a fact i burned it off. I also had a frozen yogurt (90 cals) at the movies with my dad. And only a couple small handfulls of popcorn. I dranks lots of water Saturday.

I hung out downtown with L for a while, then i went to the ave and met up with H for cupcakes. (why did i ever suggest that? it was an amazing cupcake though not gonna lie i enjoyed every moment of it). Met up with JN and wondered around.

Ended up doing drugs again. H and JN always have it on them. I didn't get messed up I just did a bit. Saturday night, i got messed up. I had SUCH a wierd trip: my mind sure comes up with some weird shit when im high. I hate admiting this but its my blog and i have to be honest.

Sunday: i went to church with my dad, and we cooked lunch together. I had a small piece of BBQ'd chicken breast with a small salad and veggies. I didnt' count the caloires but it was my meal for the day. I went to the ave again to visit my hippie friend. He was feeling down, so i brought him a present i had gotten him earlier on last week to cheer him up. A gift card for his fav. coffee shop and some of his fav. drinks/snacks.

We ended up getting pretty messed up at his house: and when im like that i think eating ice cream is the best idea ever. So we somehow found our way to marble slab (its just like coldstone) and i bought the biggest waffle cone with reese, and cookie dough with ice cream. The sugar helped me come down from my high enough to realized what i just ate... so i went to the nearest coffee shop and purged:( After that i had an espresso which was A BAD idea: it was like 5 at night. Can't drink caffine like that after a certian time i wont sleep. I went to the pool for an hour to visit some friends, then went home. Last night, i COULD not sleep. Espessro, mashed with the lingering affects of the drugs, my mind would NOT shut off: again making up such weird stuff i couldnt believe it. I hope you girls don't think im a horrible person!!:(



I was full expecting to be so exhausted this morning: that i would miss my alarm and be late walking my dog and late for work. BUT it turns out, i was up right when my alarm when off at 5, out of bed by 5:01 and getting ready and alert and full of energy. Its amazing how i actually feel refreshed like i got a full nights sleep which i didnt. Its work week now: which means i have to be good. No doing stupid things on week nights: thats my rule. I have to be focused and alert for work and do a good job. Period.

This morning, i went on an unessecarily large binge. Maybe i was rewarding myself for getting to 121 this weekend? Or not? I don't know. But I purged most of it, because it was a lot of BAD food (cookies, cinnaman buns, tim bits, breakfast sandwich ect..) i dont feel hungry at all. I should have eaten my hemp hearts this morning but thats the ONE THING i forgot to do. AND i paid for it dearly. Oh well. Keep going:)

I hope you ladies have a successful, and wonderful week! Do something you love to treat yourself <3 you girls deserve it!

xxo